It all seems to start with an innocent scroll or swipe. And before we know it, we look up and wonder where the time has gone. Or maybe for you and your kids, it seems that the more we are online, the more anxious, stressed, isolated, or frustrated we become. For all of the benefits and conveniences, technology seems to be doing something to us, and the effects do not seem to align with all of the lofty initial promises made by their designers.
We were told we would have a more open, free, and better society, but basic civil liberties are being suppressed in the emerging digital public square and cultural values antithetical to biblical truths are becoming more and more normalized in our lives. We were told we would enjoy access to more information than the world had ever seen before and how this would usher in a more united society, but it seems that we are more overwhelmed by mistruths and divided than ever. We were told that these tools would simply be tools that we would use to make our lives better, but if we are honest, at times, it seems that they are actually using us.
No matter where we turn these days, technology is ubiquitous, and convenience is king. Even when we want to resist certain advances, it is hard to live in today’s world without them. From morning to night, we are surrounded by devices and digital tools—adults and kids alike. And whether we admit it or not, we are constantly being discipled by something or someone. Technology is more than just a tool as it is radically yet subtly shaping everything about our lives and the world around us.
Too often, we either uncritically embrace or completely reject new technologies. Some rush forward to avoid being left behind, while others resist, longing for some semblance of a simpler past. As parents, we feel this tension daily. Our son asks for a video game console to play with friends, but soon, we notice subtle shifts in his behavior and desires. Our daughter wants a phone and access to social media because everyone else has them. We hesitate, wanting her to belong, but we worry about what those screens might shape in her. These decisions are never simple. We see the potential good, but we also see what is lost. So, what do we do? Embrace it all and hope for the best, or retreat into a nostalgia that is not coming back?
Raising children in a digital age requires more than simply choosing to embrace or reject new technology. The Christian ethic calls us to a wise, virtuous approach of critically engaging these realities, recognizing how these tools are shaping and discipling all of us—including our kids. Technology is not neutral. It forms how we see God, ourselves, and our neighbors. But in the face of these challenges, Scripture remains good and sufficient. By taking a holistic view of technology as more than simply a tool, we not only understand what technology is and what it does to us, but we can also begin forming counternarratives—stories that give our children a truer vision of God, humanity, reality, truth, and faithful living.
What is Technology?
While it would be nice to have a quick fix—five rules or a new app to solve our technology struggles—it is not that simple. Bad habits do not form overnight, and godly habits do not either. To parent wisely in a digital age, we have to slow down and recognize that technology is not just something we use; it is shaping us and shaping everything about how we understand the world around us. Technology has such a formative influence on us, but we often miss what is taking place as it is subtle and seemingly inconsequential at the moment.
Most of us are familiar with the old adage, “When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” This saying becomes clear when a young child picks up a toy hammer. With a hammer in our hand, we all instantly know that it is designed to hit things—whether those things are actual nails or not. This is because all tools have a particular purpose and design. As media theorist Neil Postman wrote, “To a person with a pencil, everything looks like a sentence. To a person with a TV camera, everything looks like an image. To a person with a computer, everything looks like data.”[1]
Theologian and ethicist Jacob Shatzer adds here that “when you’ve got a smartphone with a camera and the ability to post something online, everything looks like a status update.”[2] Postman argues that those truisms call to our attention that every technology has a prejudice, purpose, or design both with intended and unintended consequences. He explains that “embedded in every tool is an ideological bias, a predisposition to construct the world as one thing rather than another, to value one thing over another, to amplify one sense or skill or attitude more loudly than another.”[3] These tools shape not only what we think about but how we think—and even what kind of community we value.
We often miss how deeply these tools are discipling us. It is not just that we use them; they shape what we value, how we see the world, and how we understand our place in it. Until we grasp that, we will not be able to parent faithfully in the digital age. Because technology is not just influencing our habits—it is forming our hearts.
Technology Disciples All of Us
Given that technology is not neutral and is subtly shaping how we view the world, Christian parents, in particular, need to stay alert to the messages embedded in our digital habits. We must do so through a robust worldview framework first centered on God, how he made us in his very image, the nature of reality, the centrality of truth, and the call to righteous living.
At the foundation of the worldview shifts taking place is the inherent push of technology to shape our understanding of God and humanity. At the heart of our technological moment is a distortion of the creator/creature relationship. God made us to reflect on him and steward creation (Gen 1:26–28), but sin inverts this order—we seek to become like God, rejecting his design. Technology often plays a key role in that inversion. In our sin, we seek to invert this fundamental relationship and see ourselves as gods who can determine what is right and good for ourselves. These tools present reality as something we can reshape—whether through social media, virtual reality, or biomedical innovations. But true reality, grounded in God’s design, remains. We cannot escape it forever.
This inversion of the creator/creature distinction changes our perception of both God and humanity as we begin to see ourselves as gods but also dehumanize ourselves in the process as we seek to transcend our creaturely limits. These tools have the potential of reminding us of what is true about God and ourselves, but in our sin and rebellion, we often use them in ways contrary to our faith as we seek control and power over others and the world around us. These shifts are often subtle but shape everything about our worldviews, including what we see as real and true.
In today’s tech-saturated world, even the nature of reality feels up for debate. Social media and other digital tools blur the line between reality and our perception of the world, making it easy to reshape what is true to fit our preferences. From virtual reality that immerses us in alternate worlds to biomedical technologies that alter our bodies, we often forget that technology is more than a neutral tool—it mediates reality as something flexible and self-defined rather than grounded in the truth of our Creator. In many ways, we use it to play God, especially in the rise of transhumanism, where we seek to transcend human limits. Yet, no matter how far we advance, God’s created order remains. Reality is still there—often confronting us when we least expect it.
How we perceive truth is also at the core of how technology is changing us and shaping our worldviews. Given the onslaught of information that we are exposed to today in our digital environment, we simply cannot keep up. As Alan Jacobs puts it, “Navigating daily life in the Internet age is a lot like doing battlefield triage.”[4] We are simply inundated with so much information that we cannot often slow down to truly think and process all that is going on. In a matter of seconds on social media, our kids are exposed to a myriad of competing “truths” about God, themselves, and the world around them mixed in with breaking news, scores from last night’s game, op-eds, conspiracy theories, funny cat videos, and more.
Not only does the content of the messages themselves shape us, but the volume of information does as well given that we are not designed to process that much information so quickly. This volume leads to false impressions of reality as well as the ability of many to take advantage of our trust and exploit it for personal, social, or corporate gain.
What we believe shapes how we live—and what we are exposed to shapes what we believe. Technology not only informs but forms us. From the beliefs it helps to normalize to the habits it creates, technology reaches deep and disciples us in a particular way of living. If it is shaping our understanding of God, humanity, reality, and truth, it’s certainly going to shape how we live and act. The question is not whether we are being discipled by technology, but how and for what purpose? Whether it is the craving to always be online or the inability to set our devices aside, the effects on our behavior and pursuit of Godly living are real—and they start early.
Worldview Matters
From the shows we watch and games we play to the messages we hear and apps we engage with others on, everything around us seeks to capture our attention and shape our moral imagination in ways that are often contrary to a biblical worldview. Parents rightfully see the importance of raising up this next generation, but we must do so with a biblical vision of God as our creator, we as his creatures, the world as God’s creation, truth as objective, and our actions as flowing from these realities in accordance to how God calls us to live in light of who he is and what he has done for us through Christ. Parenting is not just simply a right to be wielded but a responsibility to be cherished. We have been entrusted with this responsibility to nurture and train up our children in a world of competing worldviews often mediated to us through digital means. There is no such thing as a neutral or truly secular space, whether it be in entertainment, the public square, or the small glass and metal devices that never leave our side. Everything communicates some type of worldview, and every person espouses some set of moral values and beliefs.
These truths mean that we cannot sit idly by while our children are discipled by the state, society, or even by technology giants—each with their own distinct cultural and ethical values. The worldviews that your family is exposed to each day matter because the truths we are being taught will inevitably shape every aspect of our moral framework. We must take responsibility for and think intentionally about the things that we allow our children to be exposed to—not out of hand-wringing fear, but out of a godly desire to steward our families well and raise them with a keen sense of discernment as we seek to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov 22:6).
[1] Neil Postman, “Five Things We Need to Know about Technological Change” (talk given in Denver, Colorado, March 28, 1998).
[2] Jacob Shatzer, Transhumanism and the Image of God: Today’s Technology and the Future of Christian Discipleship (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2019), 7.
[3] Neil Postman, Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology (New York: Vintage Books, 1993), 13.
[4] Alan Jacobs, “No Time but the Present,” Harper’s Magazine, September 10, 2020, https://harpers.org/archive/2020/10/no-time-but-the-present-breaking-bread-with-the-dead-alan-jacobs/.